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Melanie W.
Mom, Spring, TX
K-5th Grade, Tweens
 Comments
This is a good article. However, your definition of punishment is not the only one. If you look up the word punish, you'll see it doesn't just mean "to cause harm." It also means "to impose a penalty on for a fault, offense, or violation."
Penalties at our house involve loss of privileges, being grounded to the bedroom, writing sentences, and definitely acknowledging wrongdoing to another party (when applicable) and seeking forgiveness. Those are examples of healthy forms of punishment.
I have read a book on collaborative problem solving that sounds much like what you were briefly trying to convey. It's a good book. It helped me see parenting in a different way. Kids didn't have a say when I was growing up.
Parents should definitely not punish when emotional. It serves no constructive purpose and that is when abuse can occur. Not all parents who mess up and punish in anger are unloving. They just haven't learned the right way to discipline or punish. They are doing what they know. It's no excuse. But if we remember that none of us is perfect we'll be less likely to judge someone who does things differently than we do.
When I have witnessed situations like this, I am incensed. Then I remember the times I have felt extremely frustrated and think "do I sound like that??!" Then I work on changing myself not others.
People are so judgmental about parenting. If you spank or punish in any way, you're labeled abusive. If you do nothing, you're labeled a permissive pushover. We must remember to parent based on what our kids need not what others think of us.
In Super Foods For Women
I use Kefir to make fruit smoothies. It's cultured yogurt that's not as thick, more liquid. I take 1 cup of Kefir (plain), 1/2 c. of frozen or fresh berries, 1 tsp. organic sugar, 1-2 Tbsp. organic flax oil, and several ice cubes. Makes a great breakfast paired with a whole wheat English muffin.
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