This is 12 out of 13 of Things Dave Barry (comedic writer) has learned by age 50. I omitted the last one, I didn't think it was appropriate. If you want to read it, you can google it!

1. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

2. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

3. You should not confuse your career with your life.

4. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (Very important)

5. Never lick a steak knife.

6. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

7. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

8. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

10. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (Pay attention. It never fails.)

11. Your friends love you anyway.

12. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.