If you have a child who suffers from separation anxiety, you know all too well how painful and hard it is to have to leave them anywhere.

My middle daughter, now eight, started showing symptoms of separation anxiety when she was very young and it got so bad that it halted our entire lives for years. We stopped going out because no one would watch her, we stopped going to church because we couldn't leave her in the nursery, and we planned our entire calendars around who would be home with her. I thought that it would go away as she entered kindergarten, but it only got worse. 

Her older sister, who was in 3rd grade at the time, would routinely get called down to her classroom to calm her down and she spent the first three months of the school year eating lunch with a bunch of kindergarteners.  One day after I dropped her off at school, she actually ran out the front door of the school, through the parking lot, and was about to hit the road before the principal could catch her. 

Thankfully, she's now a well-adjusted 2nd grader, who doesn't mind being away from me a bit. On top of that, she barely remembers how upset she used to get about being away from us.

Separation anxiety in children is no fun but if you have a baby or toddler who has separation anxiety, I hope some of these tips will help you. 

~ Start leaving your child with a trusted sitter when he/she is very young. One of our problems is that we never left my daughter alone until she was almost a year old. By then, she didn't want to be away from us at all!  

~ Always say good-bye to your child, even if you know that it will cause them to be upset.  If you try to sneak out, they will notice at some point and they'll likely get even more upset. Not saying good-bye also causes your child to lose trust. It's better that they at least know that you will always say good-bye before you leave. 

~ Stay positive. Even if your child gets very upset, don't let them see that you are upset. This is easier said than done, but keep your good-bye brief and if you are going to have a break-down, do it when you are not in front of your child. 

~ Leave someone of yours with your child. If your child is experiencing separation anxiety when you leave him/her at school or daycare, allow them to take something of yours with them. Some children feel better about being away from their parents, if they have something with them.  We finally made a picture book of every member of our family for my daughter to take to school with her.  I also let her wear a "special" necklace of mine when we were apart and it seemed to help a lot. 

~ Don't give in and stay home or take your child with you.  The message that you'll send them if you do this is that if they cry long and hard enough, they will get their way.  

~ If your child seems to be suffering from severe separation anxiety, start by leaving for a very short amount of time. This will help them to see that you will always come back.  

~ Have somone else drop your child off if you get emotional.  I finally had to have my husband bring my daughter to school because it was too much for me to handle.  After seeing her get so upset, I'd get so upset that my whole day would be shot. For some reason, he was much better equipped to deal with all the emotion. 

~ Be patient! It's highly unlikely that your child will still be experiencing separation anxiety when they are 16.  Even if it feels like it will never end, remind yourself often that it will!